Acrylic Art
By Gaye Flyer

 

Gaye's Muzings 2013

 

Maybe the title will come as I write?????....Yes, count my fingers....

18 November month 2013

....stupid is as stupid does??….what have I done now??….why I do the things I do??….what is going on in my head??….or just simply, as my darling husband says, “put up your fingers and count HOW many decades old you are??….I am still having trouble catching my breath and it has been over 3 hours ago….

First, we said our goodbyes to my precious ‘other family’ today….it felt so healing to have them here….especially Soledad who is the size of Pequena and has the same hands as her that I kissed so often. Having them here helped seal some of the open crack in my heart….we left so abruptly and there never felt like there was any closure….she is an amazing human being and I dearly love her and all of the family.

Chet and I walked for an hour at the beach and it was spectacular out….as you know, I have been suffering from a hellish back and neck for several months and have totally laid off the exercise….I am trying to push my way through it once again.

We were supposed to go do some errands with Mitchell but he, exactly like me, gets very sidetracked….he needed to take the pump for his irrigation system to either repair it or most probably replace it after a closer look….Chet and he went up to the level where the water tank is and I, for some reason, decided I needed to go up there too….there is a rock road one way and a switchback on the other side….I decided I needed to try the narrow trail with switchback which goes straight down on the one side….I didn’t look to my right as I have a horrific fear of heights and slowly started my way up the path, asking myself what would happen if I slipped….was in my Crocs which are rather slick….BAD…. and made my way up to the turn and slipped a little….sooooooo….I put my hands on the ground and the side of the mountain and tried to move but terror overtook my senses and I started screaming for Chet to no avail, then Mitchell as I knew they weren’t too far away….I figured I could lie down but I could not make myself move as one foot kept slipping….I hadn’t looked so I had no idea that the hill was covered with bushes and trees where I was and I would have only slipped a couple of feet. In my mind’s eye I, felt I was going to fall into the Grand Canyon.

Finally after screaming with all I could muster I heard my hero above me and yelled that I was afraid and couldn’t move….down he came and I ended up flat on my stomach as it felt like the safest place to be….Mitchell standing above and minding his mouth, oh so well….perhaps seeing where his fierce determination comes from or not mouthing what a total idiot his mom is….(only sometimes) :-) Chet assured Mitchell I was fine…..just terrified and he kept trying to convince me there were was nothing to be afraid of as there was a whole covered hillside behind me….he had me turn on my side and sit up and I saw it was okay but I still couldn’t make myself stand up so I lifted my butt up and did an upside down crab walk down to where I felt I could attempt to stand….it was pretty flat so up I got and did as our friend, Jerry Little, reminded me….little steps, little steps….I hung on to Chet and he led me down to the motorhome….ooooohhhhh I just let out a big sigh of relief as writing sure helped with the tension of the afternoon……hahahaha.

We are at the movies and it is time to stop typing….later.

Later now….we just got out of 3 hours and 10 minutes of reading subtitles at “Blue is the Warmest Color”….a good movie but started to really drag at the end which ended like it had to, but I need to rewrite it in my head….interesting, hot and a slice of European life….couldn’t handle “My Twelve Years as a Slave”….a bit to shook up to handle something so violent and emotional….popcorn therapy greatly needed!!!!

We are on our way home so I can put my skinned knees to bed….

Lesson for the day and hopefully for a long time….I am not 30 years old anymore and doing dumb things, like today,; has to stop….I was a very lucky lady and skinned knees was very small compared to my need to go up a hill just one more time in my 40’s on my quad….breaking 4 ribs as I freaked from the height and went over backwards….enough!!!!

Be safe and smart….(Gaye)

 

'Have I told you lately that I love you'

11 October 2013

....'have I told you lately that I love you'....what a great line in a great song....

I heard a man say at a Meeting many years ago that he 'tells his children he loves them every time he talks to them' ....it stuck in my head as he said, 'one never knows when you may never be able to say it again'....I have taken it a step farther and include relatives, friends, and anyone I feel like saying it to....I try to say it at least once every day to my beloved Chet....

I can't say it to my Pequena anymore who always used to reply, 'I love you more'....I would give anything to be able to tell her just one more time, face to face, to feel her silken hands, to kiss her cheek, her fingers....to all her on the phone, to hear her voice....all I can do now is miss her terribly....

I love my kitties, my teddy bear, my home, my life, my Uggs, my home on wheels, my bed, my antique tea cups, my art work, my gift of being able to do my art....I could go on forever as I anthropomorphize everything and it really makes it difficult to let go of things as I don't want to 'hurt' anyone or anything....

I put the word 'adore' right up there with love....to adore or be adored sometimes feels more personal to me....to adore, to be adored....

I started to tell Chet I needed to call Pequena the other evening and caught myself mid-name....put my face in my hands and said 'no' over and over....

We have been having the best time at the Lilli-J this trip....it has been easy, relaxed, the weather has been spectacular, the time with the grandkiddies has been special, with Jon and Erin and we have had the opportunity to drink of the beauty of the ranch and the smiles that have been abundant....along with my tears that have finally been able to flow.

I adore my family....I adore my 'other' family who were there to hold me together on more than one occasion for the years we lived together....I was thanked over and over for what I did for Pequena and no thank you's were needed as that is what 'family' does for each other....

A very happy Canadian Thanksgiving to all of our loved friends this weekend....

I loved going to the Loleta Firehouse to the antique show, today, just and ONLY to see my handsome Volunteer Fireman son, Jonathan working there....Chet and I both forgot our glasses and Jon was not much help as he didn't have his either...I figured I needed nothing else...what a place to get to in my life....it is not to say I didn't want some....couldn't see carting it to Twillingate just to cart it back when we decide to sell the house....

On to another beautiful day tomorrow....

....filled with LOVE....

 

Vaya con Dios My Love

1 October month 2013

I haven't written in such a long time....I just couldn't due to the pain I was feeling...due to the inability to post to Facebook as I didn't want to share things that would go to Pequena's page.

I write of a young woman with the heart of a Lioness...her ability to endure the ugliness of her stomach cancer, they feel she had for perhaps a year before it was diagnosed. The cancer of the elderly...the cancer that made doctors and nurses cry on more than one occasion. It had cut through her stomach and had spread throughout her entire stomach cavity touching everything its' ugliness could touch....each scan remarkably showing it had not invaded any other major organs...it finally settled itself in her ovaries and around her colon...the chemotherapy fighting to keep it at bay for as long as it could as she told her doctor what she wanted was time with her children...they gave her that...just time, no cure....just time.

She was on chemo for almost a year; three different kinds that she tolerated pretty well, which was a miracle for her as she had so few 'down' days so she was able to participate in all of the activities she wanted for a long time when you consider she had around a year to live...it is what her doc said...'13 months'....it took 5 weeks to diagnose and she lived for 13 months after that. Doses of chemo to lambast her cancer were not given as there was no hope for any surgery or radiation...it had metastasized too far.

We left for a few months after we saw she was managing the chemo so well and that her doc had a special affinity for her so I knew he would do ANYTHING he could for her...we cried in each others' arms and she said she was afraid she was never going to see me again...I promised we would be back...I cried so many tears, so very many as I was heartbroken and knew there was nothing I could do to make it go away...all I wanted to do is beg her not to die and to stay, but that was not in my power...

We took her everywhere she needed to go to prepare to die...to her youngest son's school to talk to the teachers about how to tell her profoundly autistic boy she was going....how furious she was with me as she cried and she never wanted anyone to see her do that...she thought she could keep it from him but as we left he went over to the box of tissues and shoved it across the table...he knew on a human level...all of the paperwork, wrote letters, got her money for her family and her sister and family could go to Disneyland...

My Mitchell bought her a ticket to Mexico so she could go and see her family there...she went by herself while on her third and last kind of chemo...she had an outrageous layover in Arizona but she did it all by herself...she got to go to her oldest son's high school graduation and she made it through her daughter's 2nd birthday...getting out of the hospital at 3:00 p.m. and having a huge party at 6:00...her third weekend in the hospital for pain and dehydration...the Palliative Care doctor telling me she would make it through her daughter's birthday but felt it would not be long after that...Saturday the whole family; mom, dad, cousins, children all loaded in cars and went up to Washington to a Casino and water Park to celebrate...all the time on IV feeding into the veins and IV pain and anti nausea medication aboard...barely 5 feet tall and down to less than100 pounds she fought on and accomplished her goals...

I was always on the phone calling the oncology clinic which was a place everyone should visit once if they are feeling sorry for themselves...I had to put up walls to do some of the things we did but sometimes the tears would just roll out of my eyes and I didn't even realize I was crying....the staff so kind...so gentle...it was particularly difficult watching the new patients coming in, filling out paperwork, and starting their chemo; wondering, curious....going with her to the hospital to have the ascites fluid removed from her stomach cavity...3 1/2 to 5 liters at a time...the pain of the procedure and never a tear but I would sit and hold her hand...the one doctor who was so insensitive that Chet and I complained and told them never to let him near her again...they knew....

At times there was racial profiling so obviously going on and my phone calls regarding this and needing to explain to her not to let it ever happen...to speak up for what she needed...most of the docs and nurses very kind but the trips to the emerg being the most difficult...one time being told there were only beds for the very ill and she was near death with potassium that was so low that it took days to get it stabilized...the week she spent in the hospital to get her nausea under control and then sending her home with oral meds...taking more phone calls to get IV meds arranged as she kept NOTHING down for the last 9 weeks of her life...I will leave the details out but it was soooooo hard to watch her but she refused Hospice as she was determined to make the birthday celebration....

A few hours after they got home from the water park I got a call to meet her at the emerg one more time...she had to lie on a double chair in the waiting room for over 2 hours...barely audible sounds coming from her...they admitted her once again and I met the first doctor that actually looked at her Advance Directive papers and just looked at me with a questioning look...it took 4 days to get her to fill them out in the beginning and just a week before her death she signed a DNR paper...one nurse cried and said to me she couldn't even begin to try and revive her tiny, frail body as it would be cruel because of what would transpire...I had to back off to let her make her decisions which was adamantly against Hospice as she cared for a lady who died of cancer in Hospice...

I would get calls in the middle of my night...at 8:00 a.m. running all of the medicines etc. by me that her sister, Veronica so gently and kindly administered, took care of the baby and worked...sometimes the instructions getting lost in the translation especially when Veronica texted me that they were putting Pequena in ICU but it came through that she was being transferred to OHSU which was another hospital...back on the phone and then over to the hospital to make sure they got her out of there as there was nothing to do for her in ICU...she was transferred to the Comfort Care rooms on the cancer floor and once again an early morning call to tell me she had told the Palliative Care doctor as she quietly sat by her bed, that she was "tired of waiting' and the doctor said you mean 'waiting to die' and she said yes and that she wanted to go home...

It took the whole day to make arrangements and I went to be with her which was a godsend as I had several hours with her alone besides her dad who was there every day she was ever in the hospital. I asked if she was sure she wanted to go home and she shook her head no and then I asked her if she wanted to stay there to which she shook her head no...I asked if i could mention the 'H' word and she shook her head yes as I had been told of an 11 bed home that was beautiful with a piano that her son played and food for anyone who came, toys to play with Eliany, a beautiful quilt for her bed and a rose for her room....lovely people...she came in the ambulance and we were already there...we checked her in and she got out of bed unburdened with anything but a pain pump and went to the living room and got on the floor to play with her baby...it was so sweet...there were about 30 friends and family there...

She went to bed and never opened her eyes again...the only words uttered were 'push push' which we figured was her pain meds...we went back the next day and they wheeled her outside next to the fountain and it was so peaceful...we sat with her for hours that night as she was shutting down...she NEVER let go go my hand even if I tried to move it so I stayed with her to the end...I made all of the arrangements and got a ride home at 4:00 a.m. and managed to get out of the car at the red Jeep but it wasn't even ours...I laughed and walked to our RV where my two loves, Chet and Brett were...Brett was there for his birthday and knew what was happening but still chose to come as he was there when she was diagnosed...they took care of me and gave me strength. I couldn't cry and didn't until last night when the dam broke and I sobbed until 4 a.m.

Pequena and her family thanked me over and over but I told them not to thank me....I thank them for letting me be there and help absorb some of the things that would not have gone as easily if they had to do them...Pequena's doctor did not want her family taken advantage of so he suggested I be the only one on her paperwork...what a gift I was given...what ferocity I loved her with and I know it was mutual....

I asked her if she would do me a favor and she said what? I asked her to tell my mom and dad how much I missed them...the most serene smile crossed her face and she asked if I thought she would see them...I said yes...I reminded her just before she died as they say the hearing goes last, I kissed and kissed her fingers and told her how much I loved her and how brave she was....

The nurse came in to give here some medicine and her sister Sara and I asked why and as she started to give it to her and removed the cap to the IV she took her last breath...nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....no...no...no...I so didn't want to lose my Pequena....no, no......

 

From the Land OF LALA

11 July month 2013

We have had about 149 sprinkles of rain this morning so far....it is moving the dirt on the car around...chuckle...

We arrived on 04 July after a 4 day trip from Portland...it was far from a fun trip....we left a couple of days early, which was definitely to our advantage, as it turned out. It was very hot, probably the hottest traveling we have had to do...the fridge was having trouble staying cold enough...we left Saturday afternoon and drove into the night as we like to do...about 10 miles out of Grant's Pass the check engine light started to show its' red face...not long after, the stop engine light came on and we had some mountains to pull so we got off the freeway to see if the engine was hot....Chet checked everything and nothing appeared to be wrong so we waited and slowly made our way in to the town...it was where we had planned on buying fuel so that wasn't too bad....we got out of there at 12:45 a.m. and had a 15 mile ride to the next big town, Medford, where we knew there were some truck stops with repair bays....on the way we pulled of at a rest area to get some sleep....man, the heat was oppressive....we were up early, which we don't do well, and headed to Medford leaving behind a puddle under the engine and Chet figured we had a faulty water pump and thermostat as did the man at the Petro Stop...soooo...it was Sunday and on its way to well over 100 degrees...we called the Cummins Dealer, the company who made our engine, and we quickly decided that paying for a Sunday repair was not what we were prepared to do. They solved our problem regarding electricity and told us to go to their place and hook up to 50 amps and they would take care of us in the morning....we had a nice quiet, down day as we certainly weren't going anywhere in the heat.

The next morning at 7 a.m. we were checking in for service...that included moving into the waiting room...at least it was cool and there was a tv...also our 2 cats, their potty box, our computers and my latest painting I was working on and everything I needed to paint with...we had to wait until noon to to get in the RV for some food...we finally got out of there at 2:45 p.m....we rode for a few hours and then a nap was in order so on went the generator and off to sleep we went...

Upon waking we made the decision to cut over towards San Francisco to try and get away from the heat and let me tell you...it was a great executive decision....Chet drove all night until 6 a.m. when we pulled in to a parking lot and slept for several hours...then off to Malibu and Mitchell's, arriving exactly when we were supposed to...lol...

We had a VERY steep winding road to traverse from the Pacific Coast Highway up to Mitchell's place....so up we started and all I can think about is my sweet friend Dianne Vatcher...we both have this astounding fear of heights..we got to his street...791 feet up from sea level and not even 2 miles...first I had to open the gate to his street and people started lining up behind us...I punched in the numbers and Chet got a little over half way through before the gate closed on the side of the coach...more decorations...I ran and pushed the code again and he got as far as the hitch towing the car before it closed again....I was pounding on the door so he would stop as I had visions of the front of our car getting munched, not knowing some other person used their remote and reopened the gate...we got to the other side and pulled over to unhook the Jeep and I was trembling...Chet got out and unhooked the car for me to drive up to the house so off I went trying not to think about how windy and skinny the road was...Chet chugged along behind...I turned up the driveway and watched as Chet got stuck at the bottom....needless to say it was a bad angle and there were two very tired people and no Mitchell...the hitch had dug in to the black top and he couldn't move in either direction....fortunately a neighbor came by with his Jeep and offered to pull us out of our predicament....nooooo....not over 30,00 pounds of RV and a cliff behind us that went almost straight down....the neighbor got his brother, some wood and bricks and 3 bright minds melded to use our hydraulic jacks to lift the back wheels, one at a time, to raise the hitch out of the road....oh yes, we did put rocks behind the front tires so it wouldn't roll backwards over the edge. After an hour and a couple of tries we were free and we had met several neighbors as they all stopped to enjoy the debacule. My job was to move the Jeep, which was now down the driveway with a rock in front of the tire, but I was still trembling and couldn't imagine even getting in the car at the angle it was in so I asked one of the men to please move it for me....we left a bit of a hole and some grooves in the road but oh well....life is good!!!

Mitch called and said, "for *%#@ sake Mom, I move up there to have peace and serenity and you are here for 10 minutes and the whole neighborhood is out"....I giggled and said his neighbors were really nice....we finally got up the hill, parked, with an ocean view, fed ourselves and went to bed....it took a couple of days to catch up on sleep.

One real treat was Brett took the bus up to the bottom of the hill...1 1/2 hour ride but perfect...another is Pequena, 3 of her kiddies, her sister, 2 of her kiddies and 1 girlfriend all arrived Thursday to go to the beach, spend the night and go to Disneyland the next morning at 6:00 a.m.....Friday and Saturday there and then to Hollywood to walk around until they left for Portland around 1:00 a.m. Sunday morning....what a treat to see all of them and to have Brett with us for 5 days.

Saturday afternoon we went to see The Lone Ranger and I never wanted it to end...loved it I did...Johnny Depp is such a kid so we are equals in that department...

We took Brett home Sunday to an apartment that was 79 degrees and set for 68...I was fuming as they just installed a new A/C unit the week before so off to the office we went....getting the new unit took a lot of calling and emailing to the Mothership in Connecticut....finally an okay...he keeps his apartment at 71 year round and Tuesday night it was 75 degrees so that meant the new unit had only worked for about 5 days. My mind had him packed already....the maintenance man took Chet up to the roof as I was doubting the reality of a new unit.... Chet saw the circuit breaker box was open?????and it was switched to off....go figure...on it went and all is cool again....especially me. We also ran into the kids that were using Brett's parking places and had some words with them...

We had to make a trek to Camping World today to get a macerator so we could dump the RV....it is to the point of "don't make waves"...it has been over 4 hours and we have about another hour to go before we get home...see me smiling???

We are really enjoying it at Mitchell's....there is a serenity that comes from the land much like our experience when we went to Newfoundland...

We took some beer to the house of the guys that helped us move the RV and all I could think of was Dianne...driving up the road to the 'house around the corner' was horrifying and then driving into their parking area that I knew was hanging in empty space almost made me sick...if I lived or visited there I would have to crawl everywhere....no joke...

We are going through a tunnel on our way through the canyon, back to our abode....another tunnel...

Everyone have a fantabulous day and know we miss you....lots of love to Lilli Mae who broke a bone in her hand...but got to go camping before the cast was put on....she is her daddy's daughter...

 

20 miles from the California border

01 July 2013

We are rolling again...heading South to see Mitchell and Brett in LALA Land and then back to the Lilli-J to see Jon, Erin, Jack and Lilli Mae....we have about 5 weeks and then back to Portland to our other family and some more physical therapy, to see my spine doctor and a neurology appointment for Chet...

Let's see how to put all of this in some order....

Chet and I both had MRI's on the same day....he had a really bad case of dizziness and had to lie in the dark for the whole day....he has suffered from ocular migranes for years but had never had such intense dissiness. I had to help him walk. The doctor wanted to make sure he hadn't had an ocular stroke or had anything strange in his head...she wants him to follow up with the neurologist in August. I had made an appointment with a spine doctor for my lower back as my ability to take a step after sitting was so bad that it was becoming problematic...I would have to stand for a bit and literally hobble for several steps before I could walk...it was freaky and would have made it impossible to get anywhere fast in an emergency...while waiting the month to get in to see the doctor I hurt my neck and ended up going to him with a soft collar around my neck...it was a bit strange as my not walking for exercise made my back so much better that it was difficult to relate my lower back pain to the doctor with much sense....I was in agony with my neck which landed me in the emerg for 9 + hours with morphine not even touching the pain....I was doing so much screaming in the RV when I had to change positions that we were wondering what the people around us were imagining...th one morning I awoke to my neck twisting to the side down to my shoulder was the morning we went to the hospital...it was making me sick to my stomach and I was white with blue lips and hollaring like a banshee...they sent me home with a wekk's worth of pain meds and I stopped them after 3 days as they were making me nauseous...I started going to acupuncture and Laura saved me...she said in all of her years of practice she had never seen such a bad sprain and she has worked on many professional athletes...the moral of this story is never let someone at the nail place massage and twist your neck in every probable direction...I kept thinking to myself "what am I doing"...well...I found out...she also worked on my hips and lower back and something released and I was able to walk straight for the first time in years...

When I finally saw the doctor he wqs kind enough to include my neck in the MRI which I haven't really been able to discuss with him yet as we don't go back until the 6th of August...I did get him to let me now I wouldn't cause any more harm by doing my physical therapy for my lower back...it is hard to do and not put too much pressure on my neck...the good thing is that it is actually working...slowly and I am able to step from a table or chair easier and can walk the stairs with my left leg which I have not been able to do for around 40 years after tearing my soas muscle while weight lifting...oh my crasy past life....I felt it pop and still got on my bike and rode it home from the gym...needless to say I was only able to crawl to the bathroom for about a week....Lorin and I were split up and he would have to come over and take care of Brett...trying to do my exercises in the RV is not the easiest...particularly with a young cat that likes to attack and drag my yoga mat around the place...we have to keep it rolled up in the bathroom now as he is relentless in his desire to drag it around the floor...it is a pretty funny sight.

Pequena started a third and last kind of chemo, as far as we know, a week ago today...the next day she was in the hospital on morphine to try and control horrid pain that they couldn't get under control at the Oncology Clinic...she spent the night on a morphine pump and then was allowed to go home....days of tiredness followed then on Friday the extended family went camping at the hot springs at the river. They had a good time and I was glad they all got to go....

Today she is at chemo again as she goes weekly now. I haven't written much as most of our time is centered around her and what can I say except I love her...

I have to interject that we are having a major heat wave in the west and records are hitting highs all over...it was 102 where we were and in Death Valley in the 120's....not fun....silly people were in Death Valley with their thermometers so they could record the temperatures...boy, I could think of so many things I would do before I would do that...we did get to see water there one year when there was an inordinate amount of rain...people were kayaking there...it was so beautiful and a real treat to see..

It is the hottest weather we have traveled in so far...the water in our holding tank is warm enough for a tepid shower and the fridge is straining to keep everything cold. We drive, well Chet drives for a while and then we stop and run the generator so we can nap...and then push on...right now it is 2;30 a.m. as I am adding more to this muze...we had stopped to eat and then went tot bed and woke to 88 degrees in our bedroom...we had opened the window and turned on the vent fans and Chet was trying to tel me to enjoy all of the air coming in at our heads...only problem being is that it was hot air coming in...he was not at all convincing....we were both soaked with perspiration so it was back to rolling down the road...all I want to do is stop at every fast food place for an ice cream...oh well...

We just turned and are heading towards San Francisco and out of the valley to try and get out of this oppressive heat...it is now 3:30 a.m. and going through the city should be easy....it has to be cooler going down Hwy 101, we hope....

We were going to leave on the 1st to head South but Mitchell suggested we leave Saturday so we did....it was fortunate as the 'check engine' light started blinking and then the 'STOP engine' light came on...we stopped and babied our way into town, about 7 miles away, to get fuel....we went about 10 miles South and stayed for the night in a rest area....by morning there was a puddle under the RV engine...we had little sleep and went on to the next, much larger town, to a truck stop...as Chet expected, we needed a water pump and a new thermostat...groan...it was Sunday and on the way into the 100's so after calling the place where we needed to have the work done, they told us to go and park at their shop and hook up to their electricity....free was great and 50 amp. electrical hook up but it was so hot that the 2 air conditioners had a hard time keeping us cool...we had a real lazy day which was good. Today we were up at 6:30 which is usually 1/2 way through my 8 hours of sleep...we had to take the cats in to the waiting room with us so they had free reign in the RV to work...soooooo 2 cats, 1 potty box, my paints, brushes, water, and my latest painting I am working on...no breakfast but a nice tv and Wimbledon and the tennis matches....Skipper hid under a chair the whole time as he has never been anywhere but the vet....he also hides if anyone comes into the RV...Moose got the end of his tail in the green paint and I had to clean it off several chairs that he trailed his tail by and Chet had to clean it off his shirt...all was well, Chet made us some sandwiches at lunch hour and we were on our way around 2:45 p.m. after loading all of our stuff back in the RV....with a cat with a green-tipped tail....

We just stopped at one of our favorite rest areas along the Klamath River but it was too hot to get out....bummer....Mt. Shasta is looming in front of us and I can imagine I see the snow melting...let's hope it doesn't decide to erupt...lol....we just passed a llama farm.

I was so filled with gratitude yesterday as the only 2 times we have had trouble with our RV we have been within 15 miles of a Cummins Dealer...they made our engine...we could have been anywhere on Saturday night and it could have been quite problematic. I had a nice chat with my interpretation of God and a major attitude of gratitude....

We are going to stop at another rest area so Chet can take a nap...and me too....we are up about 3,000 feet so maybe it will be a little cooler.

I so look forward to seeing my family...it is only "a day away"....

 

Twillingate…right now a much loved dream

11 May month 2013

It is finally feeling like an okay time to write about our plans for the foreseeable future.....up until now I haven't had the "whatever it takes" to write....

We will not be returning to Twillingate this summer as far as we know....there is a more pressing reason to stay on the West coast once again as Pequena's doctor asked if we were going to Canada...I asked if it was feasible and he twice told me that he 'strongly' advised we stay here or at least not too far away....

My Pequena is beautiful, looks great, is tolerating the chemo every other week, well, but she is accumulating cancerous Ascites (fluid) in her belly which means they may try another type of chemo to see if they can stop the rapid accumulation....I told her the other night she is the bravest person I know and she said "I know" LOL....

Spending time at the Oncology clinic is so draining on me emotionally...not because I am there with my girl but it is so hard watching all of the new faces coming in....

We are here to help her in ANY way we can but want to make a trip or two South to spend some time with the family as long as we are here....we will start with 2 months here in Portland and go from there....

I have been on FB very infrequently as I have not felt like messing with it and I am so engrossed with my painting that I try and spend as much time as I can doing that....selling my "Painting #14" was a huge thrill and quite a boost for me as I have only been doing this for a year....if I wasn't such a darn perfectionist with OC, I could probably use a brush with more than 15 to 20 bristles on it and stop needing to put at least 3 layers of paint on EVERTHING...but, I must admit, it is soothing and thrilling as were my stints with leaded glass windows, hand dyed silk, knitting, and on and on when it comes to art....all pretty much self-taught.

Our kitties are fine but we still ache for our old boys, Freddie and Spotty and our crazy Twilly who is finally out running in kitty heaven as he was never happy being cooped up....

I just want to say...we still own our places in Twillingate and are NOT actively trying to sell them as we want to come back so anything you may hear....check it out with us....we miss our friends there and the beauty and tranquility there. We would also like to spend at least one night in the cabin...lol

Take care my friends and dance every day you can...I miss you all and so does Chet....everyone we get to see on our treks back to Twillingate and all our friends in Twillingate....

 

I Will Give It a Try

21 April month 2013

It has been a dry year so far for muzes....I just haven't been able to write, not that a million thoughts weren't in my head...let's just put it to painting, decompressing and seeing family and yearly doctor visits. I haven't been on Facebook much either....just haven't had the desire....I think decompressing might be at the top of the list...

Fortunately, our physicals were good, my implant is finished and I have a beautiful new tooth thanks to Dr. William T. Martey...the dental surgeon and Dr. David Kime...the dentist who put the crown on....they are great and I am happy that is finished.

We left Portland and my girl, Pequena, to spend the Christmas Holidays with all 3 of my boys and the whole family...it was great. After that we headed to the desert after dropping Brett off in LALA Land...it was soooo cold in the desert that the group we were with in Quartzsite, Az., really got started late as it was too cold to do much more than stay inside. A lot of people had the flu also...I just had a 6 day reaction to the flu shot that really only helped about 5% of the seniors that got one....think I will pass next year.

We went on to Phoenix for 2 months and did VERY little...a few movies, a lot of swimming and exercise, a few meals out and painting . It was so good to do nothing after our time in Portland...needed to recharge our batteries. After Phoenix, a week in LA for physicals, etc. and then off to the Lilli-J Ranch for 3+ weeks.

It was a great visit at the ranch...the 1st week the kids were all in Hawaii and we just walked and relaxed. It was amazing how much Jack and Lilli Mae shot up in 3 months....they are getting so big so fast...we had some great games of 'Sorry' with Lilli Mae and some fun dinners....I had the MOST perfect birthday...couldn't have been better if I had scripted it myself. It will live in my special memories...We got to see lots of deer in the evenings, the chickens were always at our feet, sometimes jumping in the car, trying to get in the RV and once on my shoulder which, I can assure you, did not last long...they are pretty funny...the sheep and lambs were moved over to the field next to us so we got to watch the lambs romping around in the tall grass which got a lot shorter very quickly....

We left today to head to Portland and are just now pulling into a rest area for the night...200 miles to go tomorrow to Alberto and Soledad's for a few nights before we head over to the RV park on the Columbia River. I wanted to be there to go with Pequena to the hospital on Tuesday to have the liquid removed from her stomach again...the Ascites has returned again and it is very uncomfortable for her....then I will go with her on Thursday for her chemo and hopefully get to see her doctor....I can hardly wait to wrap my arms around her... C-:

We do not have any idea what our plans are after Portland...we will see what is next.

I hope everyone is well and happy and thank you for staying in touch....it means a lot to me...

Blessings to you all....

 

On the Road Again….Into Our 10th Year

7 January month 2013

...and a blessed New Year to us all....may we have good health and happiness, some peace and remember that if it is Necessary, Truthful and Kind I/we can proceed....my bumper sticker reminds me of this and I shall make it my "resolution" for the year....may have to revert to my old practice of putting my hand over my mouth on occasion...

We left the ranch at 1:30 this afternoon and I was trying to call Jon for a hug but all of a sudden we were out the gate and on the road...a little miscommunication...there is a little hole in my heart and an ache....but I did get to see him earlier....the house was like a petrie dish so we stayed away...sweet Erin with a stinky cold, Rickyiah, her niece who lives with them, with the stomach flu, and Jack and Lil-Lil getting over hand, foot and mouth crud...maybe we have escaped well...

It took 3 hours to go about 140 miles through the Redwoods, along the river and through some mountains....it gets a bit hairy as Chet motors on his way South...Dianne, this is yet another ride you would be sitting on the floor for...

We just passed the Ukiah Whole Food Co-op as I had a box with an Angus Burger from McDonald's in my lap...bad me but I was very busy eating everything but the wheat bread....we stopped for a soda and there was a paper that told how to put an App on our Smart Phones and get any large sandwich for free....my very SMART iPhone 5 finally worked after signing over the deed to the house, but Chet and Brett's Samsung Galaxy S3's(phone of the year) wouldn't work soooo I got a free 1/4 pounder for Brett and Chet got a burger as we sat and fiddled with their phones...finally he tried to delete the app and it asked if he was sure he wanted to do it...then the free coupons came up...needless to say we got 2 more burgers and toddled on our way...

My friend of 54 years, Gail Sopher Renuart, died at 6:30 this morning...she has battled the big "C" on and off for over 20 years...she has been a Warrior...a Spartan Queen...the last few years, one week on chemo, one week off...we have kept in touch over the years, raised our families and I would always get a family picture at Christmas as her family grew..2 girls and a boy and later a total of 9 grandchildren...she ADORED her children and their babies...she ALWAYS had a giggle...one that remained until the last time we spoke and she told me she was so tired....bless her heart...how she fought and fought...even at the end when she was on no sustenance for a week...her husband just cried and told me it was "killing" him.... as he and the kids took turns being with her until the end...RIP my friend...all of the nonsense we participated in will always be in my heart...we had some amazing fun and peals of laughter would follow us as we all got together and "played" and did we play...Fort Lauderdale Beach at Spring vacation..."Where the Boys Are"....after you hug your parents, please hug mine...they always had such a good time together, too....I love you and so admired your spirit...you were amazing...Blessed Be my Friend...

My sweet Pequena is on her last round of heavy chemo today for 5 days and then then Dr. Klaus Hollmig will put her on a milder dose 5 days out of the month for how long, I don't know...all I DO know is that my heart aches to see her and be with her every moment....we all have to go on with our lives and she is doing a good job of that...there is a mutual adoration society going on with her and her children...

It sound like there is some darn cold weather in Newfoundland...makes me shiver to think about it...you all are dear friends and we are so thankful that we fell into Twillingate...it certainly enriched our lives and who we are...

We will be in LALA Land on Tuesday and will stay for a day or 2...then off to Arizona for some fun in the sun...

Our old "bucket" is still rolling and it certainly rattles a whole lot more than it used to...98,000 Chet miles, 102,000 on the odometer and still holding together...a little more tenuously than before....I have this picture in my mind of us riding down the freeway and all of a sudden the motorhome just splits down the middle and we are driving just the Freightliner chassis with everything flying off behind us...a funny visual but hopefully with enough silicone, spit and glue....not real...Chet installed our new tire sensors that tell us how the tires on the RV and the car are doing....only problem is 1 isn't working....we will have to figure that out and also why the internet is not working on our satallite dish...just the high def tv part...never a dull moment...

Have a wonderful life and enjoy each and every day you have...

...until my fingers want to write again...